Project 365: 88/365

T.T

Well, I've always known I am a fat girl. I'm the fattiest around my friend (quote from Mei Ren Bang 媒人帮: You can say I'm fat, but don't say I'm ugly, because I'm not! Say sorry! Say sorry!你可以讲我肥，因为我是，讲丑就不可以，讲Sorry! 讲Sorry!). Ok la cy said I'm also the ugliest among my friend. Very brutal and hurtful but true. Nobody has the heart to tell the ugliest girl in a group that she is ugly because being ugly is pitiful enough already. T.T

Ok my point is, I've always know that. I know I'm fugly (fat+ugly, bitch please this is even worse than fking ugly because that's just being ugly but I'm fat AND ugly geddit?). Never mind. I got used to it. I got used to the sympathetic tone people use to talk to me. It's not that I don't mind. I just got so used to it I don't feel anything already.

But today it is another whole new level of self-doubt.

Just now I went together with bf's family to an invited dinner. So there was a round of introduction and bf's mum introduced to everyone that I'm my bf's gf.

Then they asked me what am I doing, where am I staying, what degree I did and all.

Here comes to killer question.

"ARE YOU FROM LOCAL?"

WTF do I look like I'm not????

To quote my bf, I've always been like a 'chinapek' to him. As in typical chinese. Although this word actually means chinese uncle but I get what he meant T.T

I have a dark skin compared to other Chinese. But I didn't know it makes me look non-chinese T.T It's not like not being a Chinese is a bad thing or what la. It's just that, why does people think soooooooo differently than who I am ar? T.T

Yea so now I'm fat, ugly and look like foreigner. But I really am not like what it appears to be please do not judge me by my cover wtf.

T.T

FML MAX