Project 365: 11/365

When I was learning to do programming back in university time, I loathed the feeling of getting stuck in a bottleneck, unable to move forward no matter how hard I try. Although the joy of breaking through can be overwhelming, but I don't appreciate the emotional roller coaster that I was having. Hence I made up my mind to not go into the field, just pick it up as my interest.

However, lately in work I have been experiencing the same issue. I spent over a month to grasp a new concept but I just can't seem to understand. It is really bugging me and demotivate me a little. And then I came up with excuses like 'girls are slower to understand these things', 'one day I will understand', 'it's ok I'll come back to it after facebooking' to comfort myself. Of course it is getting me no where. I'm still stuck at the same place compared to a month ago.

It is very frustrating and I always feel like flipping the table #terrorist whenever I am stuck. Now, as I'm writing this, I am just escaping to go back to it and allow it to let me down. Not being able to be good at this, makes me feel really terrible about myself. sigh. Every day I wake up I don't feel the excitement to go to work like before, because of this bottleneck. I take out my determination to do it again, only to be crushed by the inability to move forward.

But thank God for Project 365. I am able to do some self-reflection while I write. This attitude is bringing my productivity down. Going into this field is my choice. Picking up this new knowledge is my choice. If this is my choice, how can I be beaten down by small setbacks!

From this, I learned that:

1. We need to find out what is wrong, not with the problem, but with ourselves. Examine what's affecting you besides from the problem.

2. Admit that we have issues with ourselves, and work on it. Only such realization can help you to go through problems.

As for me, no matter how much I fantasize myself as a fast learner being able to pick up things fast, I have to admit that I am really not. When I'm stuck with the problem, I blame myself for not being able to solve it after so long. I couldn't take it that I took so long to go through a concept.

And the third most important thing that I've learned is that:

3. DON'T GIVE UP!

'Don't give up' is such a cliche thing to say. Everybody understands that but how many can do it? And we must know when to give up and when not to. Or else we would just be getting into a blind alley, not knowing that it is not the right thing that we must focus on.

Time to get back to my damn bloody super duper ultra mega freaking annoying problem. If people out there can do it, there is no reason I can't!

Btw, Hantu Gangster damn nice!! Fml la my first 'horror' movie with bf is this haizzzz