Project 365: 12/365

Here comes the mainstream post about Malaysia's Independence Day!! woohoo!!! #selfCreatedCrowdCheer

I guess this is what love is about, what family is about. Despite all the stupid craps happened around us, I still love Malaysia, I still love our fellow Malaysians, and I still love being a Malaysian, of all the places I still wana stick around here.

We are all just ordinary people, studying/working for a better future for ourselves. But we've preserved through years of education, we are healthy and alive, freely sitting in front of the computer surfing the net getting unlimited information, while many many underprivileged people are still out there not knowing what 'freedom' and 'independence' is about.

It is sad to see how things turned out, how people changed, how situation changed, how the surrounding changed. It is normal that we are all concern about the future, how our future generation put up with this shit. But seriously, looking at the crime rate, the injustice, the corruption, your fear and worries, aren't you tired?

With the technology in your hand, the ability to understand the shit I'm writing here, you, sir (or madam wtf) have power to do something different. You can extend your help to these people. You can help making the world, or at least Malaysia, a better place to live. Your little contribution is needed. Your idea matters. Your action can change someone's life.

So, why not join us in League of Ordinary People? Seriously, ask yourself, why not?

Project 365: 11/365

When I was learning to do programming back in university time, I loathed the feeling of getting stuck in a bottleneck, unable to move forward no matter how hard I try. Although the joy of breaking through can be overwhelming, but I don't appreciate the emotional roller coaster that I was having. Hence I made up my mind to not go into the field, just pick it up as my interest.

However, lately in work I have been experiencing the same issue. I spent over a month to grasp a new concept but I just can't seem to understand. It is really bugging me and demotivate me a little. And then I came up with excuses like 'girls are slower to understand these things', 'one day I will understand', 'it's ok I'll come back to it after facebooking' to comfort myself. Of course it is getting me no where. I'm still stuck at the same place compared to a month ago.

It is very frustrating and I always feel like flipping the table #terrorist whenever I am stuck. Now, as I'm writing this, I am just escaping to go back to it and allow it to let me down. Not being able to be good at this, makes me feel really terrible about myself. sigh. Every day I wake up I don't feel the excitement to go to work like before, because of this bottleneck. I take out my determination to do it again, only to be crushed by the inability to move forward.

But thank God for Project 365. I am able to do some self-reflection while I write. This attitude is bringing my productivity down. Going into this field is my choice. Picking up this new knowledge is my choice. If this is my choice, how can I be beaten down by small setbacks!

From this, I learned that:

1. We need to find out what is wrong, not with the problem, but with ourselves. Examine what's affecting you besides from the problem.

2. Admit that we have issues with ourselves, and work on it. Only such realization can help you to go through problems.

As for me, no matter how much I fantasize myself as a fast learner being able to pick up things fast, I have to admit that I am really not. When I'm stuck with the problem, I blame myself for not being able to solve it after so long. I couldn't take it that I took so long to go through a concept.

And the third most important thing that I've learned is that:

3. DON'T GIVE UP!

'Don't give up' is such a cliche thing to say. Everybody understands that but how many can do it? And we must know when to give up and when not to. Or else we would just be getting into a blind alley, not knowing that it is not the right thing that we must focus on.

Time to get back to my damn bloody super duper ultra mega freaking annoying problem. If people out there can do it, there is no reason I can't!

Btw, Hantu Gangster damn nice!! Fml la my first 'horror' movie with bf is this haizzzz

Project 365: 10/365

If Xena is warrior princess, then I am princess worrier.

...

It rhymes! #proud

So I've been told that I am too anxious about things and worry too much. I was like OMFG YOU HAVE CAT TO BE KITTEN ME MEOW wtf because I have always been the most chillax person among other people.

Thanks to the serious tone (which frightened me a little T.T) I am now examining myself. It seems that I've been living my life worrying about things consciously (by constant whining) and unconsciously, that I don't know how to stop worrying anymore.

If things are messed up, I can never be at peace until it is dealt with. If nothing is going on, I will worry whether or not something bad is coming up. And when I say I worry unconsciously, it means my worries are constantly expressed by my surrounding peers, that I don't even have to voice it out (making it as if I damn chill but actually I'm not HAHAHA).

Look back at my final year project period, it was definitely the darkest moment of my life. I was worried I can't graduate with my friends (that I avoided talking about convocation and I cried whenever cy said we must graduate together. wtf, brain?), can't meet the deadline, can't please my partner, can't work out a function, and all that stuff. I was so gloomy I just wanted to sit in my room and do my stuff all day long. And when I leave the room for dinner at cy's place I just dun feel like going back to my room. I had the drive to work for the better but my emotion state kept me from doing better. I was just so depressed.

Haiz I can't even write about that moment without feeling the heaviness. Because it was really unpleasant. Anyway when it was over, I felt like a pulled string let loose. So I slacked my ass off and hence the result #facepalm

So lemme do a pros and cons of worrying for you.

Pros: None.
Cons: A lot. HAHAHA damn lazy to list it out

Fine fine. Affecting your performance, depression, affecting relationships etc are the cons of worrying.

I believe in moderation (and Jesus, btw). We can always be worried a little (showing that we care and wana do something about it), whine a little (to express feelings and not bottle it up) and slack a little (to stop and take a rest). The key is A LITTLE. When it becomes too much, it will only do harm and no good at all.

So can you worry only a little?
Whine only a little?
Slack only a lttle?

My advice for you and myself: If you can't, you shouldn't do it at all.

Project 365: 9/365

Good thing about Project 365 is that I don't need to come up with a blog title every time I blog LOL

Today my academic supervisor came to visit us and I couldn't give her direction to our company #failBigTime HAHAHA

We talked for few minutes and avoided some sensitive questions like:

Industrial supervisor: So..are they good students in uni?
Academic supervisor: --silence-- *smile awkwardly* (context: because I scored badly in her subject fml)
Us: ----do the best we can to divert the topic---

Then we sent her to the next company to visit in her list.
Just like that.
It's done.
Our last university-related task is done.
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The current project that The League of Ordinary People (LOOP) is doing is related to refugee's education issue in Malaysia. To cut down the boring words about the definition of refugee and how we can play a role in their life, watch this short documentary done by my awesome friend back when they were taking video class.

Project 365: 8/365

Today is the first day of the second week since I started blogging. Man you have no idea how hard it is for me to crack a topic. The last thing I wana do is to turn this into my personal diary or something (seriously are you actually interested about my daily life? #delusion). I wana be able to share my ideas and thoughts, and that somebody can be inspired for a moment to turn his/her dreams into reality. Obviously I'm still far from there yet but Imma keep trying..since you know..I have to keep doing this without skipping one day for a year. Haha that day will come =)

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I've just submitted my industrial training report (yes the report I was talking about since my first post!) last Saturday. Sealed it in an envelop, handed it over to the Pos Laju counter lady, wrote down the address of the place that I thought I would never miss, signed it, and got done with it.

It was my last school assignment. I felt like I should have poured out every bit of the knowledge I've gotten from school, link it with my internship work and structure it in the report. But again, I slacked. Sigh. It is like a disorder that I could't get rid of. My problem has always been self-discipline, and I really should have learned my lesson by now.

Tomorrow my academic supervisor is gonna come over to my workplace for visitation. Maybe it is not such a big of a deal but I feel like..this is it. This is the defining moment. This is the last bit of what University has left for me. I'm not sure how it would go, but hopefully everything is smooth! #paranoidMode

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Anyway promised a friend to help advertising her blog (should be the other way round coz her blog has 100 times more viewers than moi!) so here it is.

Me: So what do you want me to talk about regarding your blog?
Her: Dunno
Me: Ok for example I did an advertorial for Debbie to kickstart her freelance career. What about you?
Her: Dunno

Damn helpful right!

The blogger I'm talking about is Cai Yi with her 4 years old blog! Love the template that she chose for her blog!

This blog is her medium to express herself, and move on from it. She claimed that she'll never look back at the past (hence the blog name, Time Pass) so there won't be any regrets. And she is the most typical woman of all time! If you wana know more about how women think, please read her blog. By the time you grasp the concept, aaaaand she changed her mind HAHAHA damn typical right!

So if you're interested (or kepoh wtf) in reading her blog, go ahead but dun mess with her coz you'd be messing with the very very very very VERY WRONG GIRL! Consider that as a forewarn hahaha dun be scared dun be scared just go ahead and click on this link caiyi--irritating.blogspot.com then jie jie give you a candy (or eat you alive) wtf

Here's a little entertainment for my fellow readers!
 
Damn funny la! Covered by our very own Malaysian artists! I have to give credit to their creativity, self-sacrifice to entertain and their hardwork. Malaysian artists are doing great. I'm just puzzled by the radio station instead. Sometimes I wonder whether I tuned into Malaysian Chinese radio station or Korean radio station @@. But still, Very proud of them =)

Alright I'm up for 36hours d I gotta look pretty professional to my supervisor. See you tomorrow!

Project 365: 7/365

Finished 8 episodes of new TVB drama, The Kingmaker (in chinese: 造王者). Fuyoh I've not been doing this drama marathon thing for few months already! This time I watched with my dad, and we had breakfast and lunch (and tea time sigh #lookAtWeightScale) over this drama.

To readers who prefers attractive pictures, there, got picture just for you HAHAHA one and only ok!

But watching this drama just add on to my heavy thought about dreams and reality. People with ability and dreams might not end up living their dreams. And women's status in ancient time was really low that they thought the only thing they can do for their family/country is to sacrifice their body. Maybe that's why I like time-travel series. I unconsciously hope that the character from modern world will do something different and change ancient characters' mindset about things, not that it'll help or what. Just a small wish. #stupid

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Recently I'm obsessed with a Malaysian boy band, ThomasJack 东于哲. Hahaha please don't close this window and bear with me although I really am out of topic to write about. Ask you to contact ME to come up with new topic you don't want! Haha chill chill!

People around know I am really shallow when it comes to idolizing artist. Let's go through the list together! (please la dun close this window #beg)

1. Jimmy Lin

He is my longest obsession. I had a mooncake box (big and look nice wat!) to store his pictures from the newspapers and magazines. One of the stupidest thing I've done is that...*inhale I tore out a page from a magazine I was reading in a clinic *exhale. Feel free to judge me #shame

2. Aaron Yan

Seriously who can resist him! Ok ok you all can.

3. Lollipop F

They are my first favourite boy band (ok before them I also liked some other boy bands but the obsession faded quite fast #damnShallow). They can dance, sing (ok..only one can) and really funny! Idolizing K-Pop artists is too mainstream hahaha naww laa

4. ThomasJack woohooooooo

My current obsession! They are awesome Malaysian boy band with great talent (honestly not so much in singing but still nice so please don't stone me to death tqvm)!

So yeah..this post is to show you the shallow and cowardice (see how afraid I was to upset anybody!) side of me, and that nobody is perfect HAHAHA

Ok thanks for reading and I'll be writing more serious stuff next week I promise (note from my true self: readers, I lie one!). So see you tomorrow same time same place same shallow content wtf bye yo!

Project 365: 6/365

25th of August, is my baby brothers' birthday. Yea brothers. They are fraternal twins. You can start imaging how my childhood was a living hell. You can't? Well..imagine two freaking mischievous boys teaming up to go against you! FML big time.

Today is their 21st birthday. Gosh we are old HAHAHA (no offense to dear you who happens to be older XD ). Anyway, it was such a big of a deal that I came back from KJ to Ipoh to celebrate with them. What did I get for them, you asked?

Meh. Nothing.

HAHAHA! Seriously!! Nothing!!

Ok let's move on from the fact that I'm heartless (also, broke #begger mode).

So Twin no.2's boss is throwing a house warming party today and our family was invited to attend the party. Man, twin no.2 really has a wide network with people. We went as guests, and he was like the house owner,  serving and talking to people all around, and everybody seems to know him #ok.jpg.

Dad was being damn kiasu (and rather impolite @_@ ) that he went straight to the food without even saying hello to twin no.2's boss. And me, being socially awkward, just following my dad around and help taking food as if I'm not fat enough wtf wtf while mum and twin no.1 went to look for the boss.

Then dad and mum bumped into their long lost friend from Penang in the party. What are the odds! So when they were talking, twin no.2 brought his students (he is a private tutor) who attended the party to introduce to me and twin no.1. We were talking and joking and the world was beautiful. But you know what, some men just wana watch the world burn! And by 'some men' I meant ME wtf.

I asked them to guess how old I am. Well dear readers, ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY PLAY SUCH IDIOTIC GUESSING GAME. sigh.

So the average age they guessed was 25. I was like, #areYouFreakingKiddingMe.jpg.

SERIOUSLY WHY LAH WHY LAH WHY LAH!!

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Enough about self-pity and back to my brothers.

They definitely were one of the stress sources of my life back then. But we really had so much fun and an awesome childhood. I could not only play with barbie dolls, masak-masak (play house) and coloring, but also war fighting game, action figures and SAND. My childhood had rainbows and unicorns and power rangers wtf. And they get to play war fighting game (by teaming up against me), climb up and down around the house, and break barbie doll's head FML. So yeah..it was fun. #hypnotized

As they grew up, they became so supportive of my doings, look up to me and need my advice. I finally felt like their big sister, not their team's enemy #successkid.jpg. And they are becoming two nice great young men, with flaws of course who doesn't right!

So dear twin no.1 & twin no.2, I can see you guys are doing soul-searching right now to fit in to the society. I can only pray for y'all that God would grant you both with wisdom, and that you guys would be able to contribute to the world. That's all that matters.

Happy Birthday to you both. =)

Project 365: 5/365

Everybody who knows me, acknowledge me as a karaoke freak! I LOVE SINGING K!!!

Since I was in secondary school, I used to go to karaoke in Ipoh to sing (mostly scream hahaha) with my friends. I also used to choose at least one song from Jimmy Lin just to see his face on the screen #childish.

Now, my sing-k style has changed from screaming to singing properly (no energy to scream #damnOld T.T). It is really a thing! Most of my friends don't do screaming anymore too! We are more into sentimental songs and slow numbers.

Ok now you are wondering, what's the point of this post? Alright. Fair enough. No problem. It's fine. You deserve to know. Lemme tell you.

I AM OBVIOUSLY CRAVING FOR A LONG FUN EXCITING SIBEH SONG(super intriguing) K-SESSION SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COME JIO ME!!!!!!

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Ok that was really pointless. I'm just too occupied with my industrial training report (yes I have been talking about it since my first post and no I'm still not done with it yet #ok.jpg) that I don't really have time to do some research about the things that I really wana write about (eg. Section 114A of Evidence Act, LOOP's upcoming project).

So as you can see, I've totally ran out of things to blog about BUUUU. So if you are willing to provide me with topics or inspire me to write on a certain topic, please inbox me at my Facebook page and while you do so, please don't call me a loser #shame

Thank you very much for staying here with me and read this pointless post. Here's a potato =)

Project 365: 4/365

Grrr today I've been rushing my industrial training report and I'm still not done with it yet T.T

It's okay. I shall take few minutes to do an amateur advertorial for an amazing web developer, Debbie Khaw.

What makes her different, you say? Well..

You can't possibly say no to this sexy back can you? HAHAHA

Ok ok here's a more professional side of her.

Not convincing enough? Take a tour to her blog and her Plurk account. Awesome right?

Still no? Meh I have nothing else to show hahaha!

Ok serious introduction. She loves teddy bear. Ok ok serious serious!

She's my coursemate (we majored in E-Commerce), has experience in developing system and web sites for school projects. She has working experience in related field, and she is very passionate about programming and stuff like that (geez #rolleyes).

If you are looking for a responsible developer who is delicate in her work and is able to produce finespun and well-functioned system/website, Debbie Khaw is the one you're looking for. If you wish to see more of her product and portfolio, you can drop her a message in her Facebook account or email to khawsynwei@hotmail.com.

Phew my first advertorial is not bad right? Debbie, our deal is done (fuyoh Cai Yi damn smart ar somemore took this picture beforehand so I can put this in my blog in the future!).

But, I wouldn't be amazing if I didn't mention that..

SHE IS SINGLE AND AVAILABLE YO!!

Now my first advertorial is damn awesome! Thank you thank you *wave hand

P.S. If you wana know her as a friend instead of offering a job to her, please contact me instead. If you behave like a scumbag, contact her and mess with her, I will castrate you!! Don't play play I tell you! #stern

Project 365: 3/365

First day of work after 4 days of break! Motivation level: low. Hahaha!

Today, I want to talk about bets (fuyoh got professional speaker's style or not!). Since 24th of July I've lost countless of bets (actually countable but I'm too lazy to count my failures la obviously! why wanna make myself sad!) to people. Some of it are like stretching my arms for a period of time, whether or not polar bear hibernates (now I sound like a dumb blonde don't I T.T), and some other nonsensical ones (still lose anyway haiz). Imma improve my general knowledge and win back all the Starbucks coffee that I've treated! ROAR! #determined

So, I've been following one of the awesomest drama series ever, The Newsroom.

It talks about the professionalism of journalist and broadcasting media, about how a team of really passionate people come together to provide facts and only facts to the audience. I admire their fearlessness, not wanting to let any factors (ratings, ads, number of audience) to come into their way of bringing back the honor being in that industry.

While immersing myself into that world in The Newsroom, a part of me understand that it is probably not gonna happen in reality. The thing is, mass communication industry survive by getting investors and advertisements. Without good ratings, they'll fall apart (correct me if I'm wrong though). When the management is bearing the stressfulness of dealing with businesses or worse politics, they reflect their concerns to the people who are actually doing the shows. At the end of the day, truths are twisted and audience are constantly fed with distorted information.

Can we blame them? Definitely not. Because while they are struggling to survive, as their target audience, we like to hear what we want to hear, and see what we want to see. Ask me if I wana see sickening political news when I turn on the TV after a long tiring day, the answer is a big No No. I wana see some nice drama series, I'm interested in which artist broke up with which artist, I wana listen to some diet tips and maybe watch how to use simple ingredients to make tasty food. It is as if I am too weak to take on serious news.

As the social media's booming, we can see lots of shared post about rape cases, robbery methods, which politician is bull-shitting, which socialite is spending government's money etc. Thanks to social media, these information will no longer be distorted by any party. We are our own media!

Now, here's the question. How can you be sure what you are sharing is the truth? And how sure are you? Do you have any proof? Any official confirmation? Can you tell whether the photo is original or photoshopped? Are you aware of the influence of the post you are sharing? Does your share make any difference?

My point is, we are not professional journalist. We are just ordinary people who have opinion when we see something unfair. While we've successfully raised the awareness, we are not aware that the hateful and judgemental words that we are spreading will affect the society's dynamic. We do not know the appropriate way of expressing our opinion, resulting in getting into trouble. We are just so inadequate!

But we have the power of sharing. We can freely say how we feel about certain things and let it be heard. Wouldn't it be better if we focus on the overlooked community and help them with this power, instead of overly doing the purpose of sharing news by commenting with hateful words?

Ok let's come back to the world of rainbows and unicorns. My personal (in fact, very humble) opinion is that we can be moderate in everything we do, avoid misuing our power into doing something we never intended to do. =)

If you share the same vision as I am, I invite you to come to a casual event organized by the League of Ordinary People (LOOP) to talk about ideas and be a part of our first project. Check out this event and also our official Facebook page to know more about us. It is still in small scale but one step at a time right?

Time to call it a day! Good night! =D

Project 365: 2/365

Woohoo second post! Tadah! You're looking at my brand new blog design! Hahaha actually Debbie chose a template for me and make decision on font types and stuff, as I am just too indecisive in this matter. So this is nice and simple, suits my blog name (oh ya I just found out my blog name clashed with other blogs! dun care lah I'm sticking to this #determined) and fulfilled my requirements cheh wah. So thank you Debbie Khaw Syn Wei aka the next most awesome developer phewwit!

Anyway, today me and girlfriends went out again and had a quality yum cha session. Talked about the past and the future, updates and interesting stories (like how pig WC is disturbed by her colleague HAHAHA damn funny!!). I'm never gonna get bored of this! Actually a bit bored seeing them twice at the same week hahaha please don't kill me.

Ok..ran out of things to write.

****Processing memories and thoughts****

Alright! So YJ just talked to a soon-to-be non-profit organization to help out a refugee school in KL. Me, being skeptical, kept having concerns about doing it. But then I realised this is what's holding me back, holding us back, to do more and make our dreams into reality, which brings us to the topic of why I chose "Dreams and Reality" as my blog name jeng jeng jeng!

Since a year ago I came to understand that reality will always be that brutal tool to kill your dreams. Despite how passionate you when you first started something, eventually reality will wear it off and you'll have to bow down to reality.

I always want to believe all the good things in life will happen. I want to know that if we put in enough effort, we will see the fruits of our labor. But will it happen as we want? Are we in full control? I am always frustrated thinking about all these uncertainties.

But that is life. If we know for sure what's ahead of us, where's the fun? =) So I leave the worries to God and just do my part. Attitude is the main factor to turn dreams into reality among other factors right?

Hence, I use "Dreams and Reality" as my blog's name, hoping that within 1 year, this Project 365 will record every bits of my life, showing how much I've grown (hopefully!) and whether or not I am able to juggle between chasing dreams and aligning it to reality.

Anyway, today is the end of Raya holiday for moi. Tomorrow I have to go back to work (and finish the dreadful industrial training report #bigbigsigh). Nevertheless, it's a brand new day and brand new start! =D

Project 365: 1/365

Hello everybaday! You are looking at a super awesome blog (or not). I'm starting this Project 365, inspired by an awesome Malaysia blogger, Audrey, to write a blog post everyday for a year.

I always get questions about why I don't blog since most of my close friends are dedicated bloggers. To be honest I'm a kind of person who likes to talk to people if I felt anything at the moment. For example, if I have something to rant, I rant to anybody whom I bumped into ftl hahaha or somebody who gets it. And I don't dig photo-taking session during outings and all because I believe what I see and experience myself is already in my brain (bs la it's because I look fat sigh). And and I am a perfectionist when it comes to blog designs (and plurk btw) but I suck at it so I tend to give up and never log in again to avoid seeing the disastrous design.

I was going through Audrey's archives the other day, and felt challenged to do something that I don't think I want to do, which is to blog everyday (is it normal that I feel regretful now already hmm). So, #challengeAccepted.jpg. Imma blog everyday and see where this can go. =D

So..currently I'm undergoing internship in this awesome company which is database-based. One thing I admire is that there is no competition between colleagues (not like what we always heard when we were young that working world is like a dog-eat-dog world and stuff), everybody is willingly sharing knowledge and how far you can go is based solely on your attitude, not by outpacing anybody. The boss is admirable in the sense that he created such working environment to attract good employees to stay despite the high turnover rate in IT industry. And he is really good in focusing on potential niche market, truly believing his product/service is the next big thing.

Also, I'm trying out this social effort project, the League of Ordinary People (LOOP) with my coursemate (whom I seldom talk to when we were coursemate) + my current colleague (now talk till sien), Yu Jin to do something for the society. We (ok..I) have a lot of concerns about the thoughts and ideas that we (ok..Yu jin)'ve came up with. But giving it a try is harmless right? Failure is the stepping stone to succeed and learn yo!

And oh last Saturday I went out with my girlfriends (and their boyfriends LOL). It was really a nice feeling to be with them, because having them around makes me feel like home *smile*. We talked about the 38 stuff during secondary school and laughed so much (and loud!). I even bought a green dress because of the dress code somebody (yes SK I'm talking about you!) suggested and SK offered to lend me her dresses when I whined about it (need or not!! T.T). Then the next day I went to Penang with le family. When relatives saw me, they were shocked beyond words to see my fat body figure, that they gave me bad poker face. FML FML FML FML (let me whine here la coz if I whine to Yu Jin and bf, they will make me do exercise *pout*).

So that's what currently going on with my life. Before I end this post, I apologize for the bad design that you're looking at T.T. I've asked Debbie to fix it, putting my full trust on her awesome skills *puts pressure on her hahaha. Mind my flawed language too because I simply don't care about perfect english nawwwww laaaa just joking. I'm trying to write in a way that doesn't deviate much from the way I talk and chat in real life so I don't appear like a faker to people who know me hahaha.

So..this is it. My first post to my project 365. Are you inspired to do this too? I dare you. I double dare you. HAHAHA