Our Graduations

This is gonna be another short post, even after so many months since my last post.

I think I didn't really 'felt' like I've graduated, until my bestie Bobo (who is the last one to graduate among us, thanks to their weird uni schedule) is going through her convocation over this weekend.

For so many years since secondary school, we've been going through exams and school dramas together until we need to go on separate ways for uni.

I still remember when I first accepted the offer from my uni and found out that we were gonna start a whole new journey without each other (and to worsen it, across the sea), I was so reluctant to do all my preparations for uni alone. 

I went through first time boarding on a plane, going through uni orientation, talking to people (yea it's a very big deal to me okay #sociallyawkwardpenguin.jpg), and just living my schooling life without them. I remember it felt like my big sisters who were always there to take care of me can no longer be there, and I'll have to do this on my own. 

It was really tough. And I'm sure they felt the same.

I remember my first few days in Labuan, I'd cry whenever I missed them. And that I couldn't be there for them too. 

They'd call me sometimes (ok honestly most of the time..ok honestly honest, ALL the time #ashamed) to talk about life and get me to talk about mine too (because somehow I am always able to live a boring unhappening life so I don't really know what to talk about sobzz). When I was at my most helpless phase doing the dreadful FYP, they gave me strength to go on. They never make me feel left out even though I was ten thousand miles away from them. And by talking to them I felt like being home. With family :)

Well I guess through different ups and downs, knowing new people and learning new things, we got through our last phase of schooling life.

So, Happy Convocation to all of us! Ok especially to Bobo! :)

God's Blessing

I feel like I should blog this down so I'll always remember God's grace and blessing. It's more for my own sake but I hope it reminds you of how much God loves us.

Last Sunday night I wasn't sleeping so well. Also, that was the only time I didn't mute my phone after so long since uni time (really hate anything that disturbs my sleep at night =| ). I tossed and turned, fell asleep and woke up a few times in the middle.

Finally around 6am or so, I felt like I really couldn't continue sleeping anymore. I was so tired though coz I didn't get enough sleep.

Suddenly my phone rang. My first thought was that "why is my alarm ringing so early? It was still dark outside!". I quickly picked it up before it wakes my roommates up.

As I was attempting to snooze my alarm, I realised it was actually my mum calling me. Before I could answer, it was cut off. My heart started feeling extremely uneasy because I've heard alot of people saying midnight calls are usually bad news.

Before I call my mum back, I prayed for God's strength so that I was able to handle whatever that was coming for me. I've also said a little prayer of protection for my family.

I anxiously called my mum to find out what was going on, only to know that my dad got into an accident on his way back from Ipoh to PJ. Thank God he wasn't hurt at all, just that the car was spoilt. He needed my help to reload for him so that he could call for help from his colleague as it was company's car.

So at the end of the day he was fine and car was fixed, but my grandma was admitted to the hospital at the same day itself. And that my dad told me my mum was not feeling well over the last weekend, broke into cold sweat and stuff. I also found that twin no.1 who is now working in Sg fell sick. Adding to that, I had an extremely horrible week at work that I found it really hard to get by.

My life is not exactly in a good shape right now (so as my body lol #duno-wats-the-relevance-but-die-die-also-must-mention). But everytime I remember how God answered my prayer in His own way, I'm reminded that He is in control and we will never be tested beyond our capability.That alone gives me the strength to wake up every morning and tell myself "I can do this because God said so".

Thank God I have my cousins looking after my grandma in the hospital and share my mum's burden. They are younger than me and I felt sorry having to put them through the trouble of taking such a good care of my grandma while I'm just sitting here blogging about it. Also I have bunch of crazy colleagues sharing all the crazy stuff going in the office (although reluctantly lol) so it is easier to bear.

We'll always be discouraged and disappointed by something or someone at some point of our life. That's just a part of life that we must endure, so that we can be a better and stronger person, not just for ourselves but also for people around us.

So don't give up hoping for the best. If today sucks, tomorrow is a new day to start anew. If tomorrow sucks too, the day after tomorrow is another brand new day. Never stop fighting everyday to make things better.

Have a good day ahead yo!

Anyeong!

Hi dear readers (or nobody wtf)! I'm back!

Looking back at my old posts, I realised time really flies in a blink of an eye. My last post was about GE13 *roll eyes* gosh so outdated.

But I've truly been missing writing stuff and blogging like I used to. I could just talk about everything that's been going on with my life and interact with my probably-non-existed readers by sharing my thoughts. It was really great.

I think the difference now is that, there is nothing going on with my life *cry* and that I honestly don't wana talk about work after working hour. So there, I have zero things to blog about. (inner voice: why don't you just go ahead and tell the truth that you are too lazy for this shit?) Shhhushh inner voice shhhushhh!!!

Anyways, life's been pretty much a roller coaster ride for me these few months. My deadly weakness aka social awkwardness was put to test at the maximum extent.

One major stereotypes I have on working in IT field is that we will face the computer screen 24/7. But fml that it is not applicable at my current job. Everytime I was asked to deal with clients, my inner voice will go "说好的face computer screen 24/7呢??" (translation: where is the face-computer-screen-24/7 moment that was promised?). Not only that I must not show any sign of social awkwardness, I must also blend in some professionalism. How la?!

Second is that I was dragged to a Christian young adult camp by the bf n sister. Omfg human, human everywhere. I was really tensed all the time and my leg involuntarily shake (fyi it was in typical uncle's style) whenever people talk to me. I was like "please don't talk to me and try to make me feel belonged tqvm plz plz plz" but of course everybody was really nice to me and hence awkwardness level went up to 999 T.T. Thank God for bf's sister for staying right beside the whole time and steal conversation from me (I wun feel offended at all plz keep doing that tqvm lololol) and thanks to bf for his promise that his sister will stay with me all the time #useless-bf-just-wana-hv-fun-on-his-own

I guess I'm lucky to have my girl friends to hangout with (no idea why I was always socially aweaome in front of them that they don't believe I have social awkwardness issue) and #soulmate who is equally awkward and hence understand me hehe.

So yea I'm struggling but doing my best not to let it affect how I live my life. #rocker-hand-sign

Oh yea, did I mention I'm a major Kpop fan now? Hehehe oh yes I've changed.

See you soon!

The Civil Duty

No word can describe how I feel right now at this moment.

Few months ago when I officially joined my current company, my dedicated supervisor brought me to the post office near my office to register as a voter. Today I am filled with gratitude for his action and because of him, I was able to cast my vote and contribute to the political revolution which is happening right now.

And thanks to my colleague aka coursemate, JW who educated me all about the current issues and political news, about parlimen structure whatsoever (which we've learnt in Form 6 but I remember none of it #shame).

They both taught me why is it important to know, and to vote. It is not about whether it concerns you, it is about justice (like how you admire the Avengers, Iron Man all that heroes). I'm extremely disgusted by the very fact that some Malaysians can be bought off by monetary promises. But at the same time, think about all the other Malaysians who stood up for justice and plead for clean election, doing their duty to make sure justice is served.

I'm so awed.

No matter what happened tonight, I know that justice is right there. And we don't need superhero for that.

May the end of the day brings a better tomorrow.

写写散文#6

写写散文#6

我听着她说，关于痛苦的一切。

听着听着，我在想，她的感受，我能懂几成？

然后海啸的来临，改变了我。

她说过，家人健在，有爱人宠爱，朋友成群，工作顺利，可是痛苦还是可以从坚固的围墙一点一点地渗进来，让她无处可逃。明明万千宠爱于一身，有什么资格说很痛苦？

而我，在这一刻，感同身受。

Happy Birthday to you aka LANCI Fong!

I wana take this opportunity to ss wish you a very Happy Birthday by singing to you one of your favourite songs, which was your ringtone, your non-stop-replay song during that time, and which it drove me crazy HAHAHA.

Nah, Happy Birthday to you, LCF!

HAHAHA!

Update:

Walao this girl really lanci! Sing half song she didn't accept, demanded full song instead. Had to quickly re-sing in case it is past 12am.

And I just realised I really didn't gave her much patience when she just wouldn't stop singing/playing this song. Because I didn't know the last part of the song (because I would either cut her off or blast my own song hahaha), as if I've never heard it before LOL. Sorry ah I 慎重地向你讲soli! Hahaha Happy Birthday! 18 forever!

Holy Week post 1#

Owh my goodness gracious I haven't been blogging for like a month @@

As usual there is nothing going on with my life. It's just work, Running Man, and sleep. But I do have something that I wana share.

This week is the Holy Week in Christian's calendar, which is the week before Easter. I didn't really take it seriously until today, when it suddenly came to me that I've been living in bliss and blessings.

Because I have all the people I've ever cared about around me. And I thank God for that.

I dunno what's wrong with me but I've always been the kind of person who yearns for good relationship with people whom I care about (maybe that's why I'm socially awkward when it comes to socializing, because I simply didn't care about them LOL #self-discovery). When things go wrong in a relationship, I'd feel as if the world is crumbling down around me. Seriously it really does make me feel that way.

And then I told myself I must grow up and grow out of this. I can't be expecting mutual love from everybody I care about because we are all different individuals with differences (and that person might not want my affection anyway lololol).  Might as well just give up trying so hard just to keep a relationship real and genuine.

But then I asked myself, why should I give up the ability to love for a person who doesn't appreciate love? Love itself is beautiful and not wrong.

So instead of not trying, I try even harder by not trying too hard HAHAHA confusing anot! I wouldn't say I am doing a great job, but I'm working on it, and it's been going great.

For example, I didn't know my best friend whom I've known for 11 years dislike loh mai fan (translation: glutinous rice) and went ahead and bought her that as breakfast. She gave it away to someone else wtf and told me she would have eaten if it is apam balik (do not hesitate to google this yourself wtf). Normally the tried-too-hard me will emo for a long time wondering why can't she just accept my offer. But the new and improved me (cheh wahh) sulked for 5 seconds (literally) and moved on happily knowing a new thing about her.

If there is no love, I would have thought that she is a person who is lack of social grace (chinese: 不会做人) and rejected her in my heart. Or if I try to hard, I would be upset that she doesn't accept what I did for her and end up having thorn in my heart.

All these are possible because of God. God himself is love, and He loves me so much that I am also able to love. Nothing is perfect and smooth in life but through these rough patches and difficult times, God made sure I can grow and learn, to love a little more and unconditionally.

Without me realizing, I have all these people whom I cared so much giving me so much blessings and love.

Honestly, I'm so blessed.

Thank you God, for giving me the ability to love, and actually believe in love.